Foolproof Hope – Hope Wins – Day 10

In the fourth chapter of Romans, Paul gives us a lot of details about Abraham. I appreciate the reality presented in God’s Word where he shows us the bad along with the good. We learn that Abraham had a very special relationship with God, thus earning the title – Father of Faith. He received great promises from God yet in the next few verses goes back to his old ways of deception as he lies about Sarah being his wife as they go to Egypt because of the drought. (for more, you can read Genesis 12). He failed and his confidence wavered but God made up the difference. All of this is because Romans 5 starts with the word – therefore.  As my late husband, Bill, would always say – “When you see the word therefore – find out what it’s there for.” You may fall short but God will make up the difference as you trust in Jesus and the work He accomplished for you.

Anger can be contagious. As I think back on my experiences in caring for my little mother-in-love there are memories where I feel ashamed of my over-reactions and lack of love. When my father-in-law died she lingered in the anger stage of grief for a very long time. We went to live with her and I entered into one of the darkest times of my life.

“Mom, can you watch the kids for me while I go cover for one of my interpreters who can’t make it to an appointment?” I said hurriedly.

“You need to give me more notice as I have plans,” she told me angrily.

She quickly got ready to go and left. I found out later that her plans involved shopping at the mall. I was furious, hurt and disappointed. My idea to open an interpreting agency had looked so good on paper. I had been working as an Spanish-English interpreter for several years. It provided great income for a minimum amount of work especially for someone who loves to talk. When I started my own agency I was thinking of how wonderful it would be to stay home with my babies and send others out to the appointments. For some reason, on that morning she decided to make it clear to me that she was not going to be a ‘built-in babysitter’. Looking back on it now, there were so many possible solutions but at the moment I felt none. All I felt was seething anger and the sense of how much I hated my life. I wasn’t feeling the love.

I really don’t remember the details of what happened that day. I kept making calls and managed to find another interpreter to cover the appointment. I also set out to find another babysitter for my little one. I did find a sweet lady in the neighborhood who was willing to watch my baby for me when unexpected things came up. It looks so simple now as I look back on it with the benefit of the 20/20 vision of hindsight. At the time, I was disappointed in the way my life was unfolding.

Right now I am in a holding pattern regarding telling the story of my years of being caregiver for my mother-in-love. I am behind on my deadline of writing The Power of Hope for Caregivers because every time I start to write about this experience I pull away with sadness and shame. It was such a dark season in my life. If only I could go back and take my hope experience with me to that dark season of my life. This verse says that hope will not leave you disappointed. Another definition could be that hope will not dishonor.

How do you honor someone when they are hard to love? Are you dealing with someone who is angry and hard to honor? The key is found in the rest of this scripture because you can only do this through the power of the Holy Spirit at work in your life. That’s where hope comes in. No past shame can separate you from God’s love. It must be founded on a gift that the Holy Spirit has already given you – His expression of undeserved love.

We are often victims of the lie that we must respond to others the way they have treated us. Jesus’ revolutionary message is that we love those who are unlovely. We reach out with  love and compassion when others are angry and sad. I did not deserve God’s love for me and He loved me anyway because of who He is. If you are caring for someone who is unkind and seems ungrateful you need this hope. There is no way you can make this happen on your own so stop trying. Receive the gift of love and hope in the middle of the trials. Give th

Here’s the great news — this gift of love is so abundant it is poured out and spilling everywhere. There is no lack when you spend time with the Lord and He floods your heart with His abundant love. You can give to others what you have received so freely (Matthew 10:8). This love is diffused into the atmosphere in such a way that it can permeate the hardest of situations.

I can’t go back and relive those hard times with my precious mother-in-law. I wish I could go back and hug her. I would tell her that I feel her pain at the loss of her husband. I would listen with more patience as she spoke about him. I would explain more carefully the nature of my business. I would elicit her partnership and make sure that we were on the same page about caring for them. I would help her understand how much I honor her. I would let God’s love pour out of me in honoring ways.

Thank You, Lord, for making sure that when I put my hope in You I will not be disappointed. As I explore the painful memories of the past, I am so grateful that You provide Your perspective in new and surprising ways. I pray for those who are in a difficult time as they are squeezed into caring for difficult family members. Give them a renewed sense of honor that is founded in Your foolproof hope and the gift of Your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

 

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