Gratitude Series: #1 – Thank You for Unexpected Provision

The righteous will be remembered forever. Psalm 112:6

My husband, Bill (who is now in Heaven), was a collector’s collector. He collected everything! Have you noticed that collecting skips a generation? Well, in our family it is true. He grew up in the Hopalong Cassidy era with other special cowboys on television. His mother was very tidy and hated clutter. So she purged all of his stuff as a child. What developed in him was a seemingly insatiable hunger to replace these memories of fond times.

The collection started slowly but escalated once he was introduced to eBay. He never paid a whole lot for the items and was overjoyed to think of the value the fact that they were collectibles and would increase in value every year. After a while, he started calling them ‘investments.’ The problem was that he couldn’t seem to part with them unless he gave them to another collector. I used to ask him, “When is enough – enough?” I already knew the answer to that rhetorical question – NEVER!

In the last months of his life he did start giving some of them away. He would say to visitors, “Go back to my bedroom and take anything you want off the third shelf.” This, of course, tore them up and they would leave the room in tears.
Now I am surrounded by bins and bins of collectibles that the books say are valuable yet it looks like work to me. I felt resentment building in my heart for being left with this chore. I am not a detail-oriented person and this is an overwhelming task. I felt burdened down and heavy. I have learned to take these burdens to the Lord because I can’t carry them on my own.

Hope Tools

Forgive

I had a lot of forgiving to do. I had to forgive Bill for what I felt bordered on an addiction at the time. (At least the eBay buying seemed to be that.) When I look back, all of our bills were always paid. We never went hungry. Then I started feeling guilty and had to forgive myself when I found a notebook full of notes where he had been willing to start selling his stuff but I was always too busy to help him. I had to forgive myself.

Release and bless

There is tremendous power in releasing unforgiveness and bitterness as seen in the first Hope Tool. Now, I was walking in a new dimension of release and trust. It was an act of my will to begin to thank the Lord for these blessings of provision hiding in plastic bins. I thought about the joy that Bill received from the ‘hunt’ on eBay. He also loved to display and show off his items. I can now smile as I look at that back room rather than groan at the amount of work represented there.

Remember the legacy

The greatest legacy that Bill leaves is one of love and caring for everyone around him. He was selfless and giving. I was thinking the other day as I sat in the midst of all this ‘stuff’ that he left me a legacy of collectibles that are valuable. I thank the Lord for His goodness and kindness. His abundant provision for me at this time will be remembered forever. I am blessed.

Prayer

Thank You, Lord, for giving us the ability to forgive. We can only forgive someone who has done wrong and I admit that there may have been needless purchases during the years of our marriage. Thank You for forgiving me for my harshness around this topic and my judgment of my husband’s hobby. I do accept your forgiveness as well which allows me to release and bless in full measure. Thank You for his heart for you and for people. Thank you for his generosity. Most of all thank you for a legacy of love that continues to grow in future generations. In Jesus’ name. Amen.