Anxious hearts are very heavy but a word of encouragement does wonders! Proverbs 12:25 TLB

A Heavy Heart

My heart was heavy. When I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom I happened to glance in the mirror. The bloodshot eyes that stared back at me were filled with sadness and despair. I felt so helpless as I saw my precious husband struggling with the effects of Muscular Dystrophy. His diaphragm had stopped working so a ventilator was doing the breathing for him. He could no longer swallow so I had learned to feed him through a tube in his stomach. He used a suction apparatus to suction out his saliva. On a bad day, it seemed like that was all that he did.

How do you keep going when it seems like all you do is take care of bodily functions that most people take for granted? How do you navigate the maze of doctor’s appointments and medical bills? The person you are caring for no longer can handle the pressure so you keep it yourself and carry that burden as well.

I was exhausted. I was discouraged. I didn’t know what the future held for us and it scared me. I had lost hope.

Most people were at a loss as to what to say to me. In their attempt to make me feel better, they would stumble around and, most often, say nothing. It could feel awkward. Yet, at least they were present.

Others would attempt to encourage me by saying, “God never gives you more than you handle so you can do this.” That made me feel like, Why should I be the capable one who can handle this burden?” Others admired me from a distance and said, “You are just so strong.” Really, I wasn’t all that strong I just put up a good front for my husband’s sake.

Through it all, my husband was amazing. He expressed gratitude and appreciation for all that I did for him. He wrote loving notes on his whiteboard and bravely made it through each day with courage. He will always be my hero.

Hope Tools

Let the caregiver talk

Resist the temptation to provide solutions. There are situations that do not have a quick fix. Only the Lord has the answer for the needs of the caregiver and their loved one. He is very present and willing to give comfort in the deepest places in their hearts.

Be present

When you become anxious, your tendency might be to become aloof and provide intellectual answers and platitudes. Instead, focus all your attention on the caregiver. Empathy needs no words. You simply need to be present and aware that only the Lord can provide true comfort. The Lord is very near to those who are brokenhearted. Acknowledge His presence and let Him bring the encouragement they need.

Prayer

Lord, I thank you that You are very near those who have a heavy heart. I know that I can’t do this on my own. Help me to be so aware of Your presence, Jesus, that the one who is discouraged will feel You too. Bring comfort to their hearts by simply being there for them just as I make myself available to let them talk and to model the work of the Holy Spirit who comes alongside. In Jesus’ name. Amen.