The thief approaches with malicious intent, looking to steal, slaughter, and destroy; I came to give life with joy and abundance. John 10:10 Voice
One of the darkest seasons in my life was when we lived with my mother-in-law. I wish I could go back and make different choices. Since I cannot do that I will share with you some of the lessons learned during that difficult time in my life. After my father-in-law died she became so depressed that she stopped eating. My husband was afraid that she would also die. We moved in with her.
I felt heart-sick as I loaded the last of our items into my car. Bill (my husband) had taken the kids to their new home with Nana. I wanted to scream. I felt trapped and guilty for the resentment that threatened to erupt from within. I had decided to carry a very special wall clock in my car so that it wouldn’t get scratched. I picked it up along with a box of sundry items from one of the cabinets I had forgotten to pack. The items almost made it safely into the car. As I reached to open the car door the clock slipped and fell in the driveway. I fell to the ground and sobbed. My heart felt shattered just like my clock.
I let circumstances rob me of joy and abundance. As the next few months unfolded I worked very hard to cover up a seething anger over how unfair life was for me. I complained to anyone who would listen and got a lot of sympathy from others. In fact, some even called me a saint for what I was doing. Far from it, my heart was filled with anger and I could not sleep at night. I began to live in scarcity rather than abundance. I had anxiety and despair instead of joy. The mood in our home was set by an angry, bitter woman. Or rather – two angry, bitter women. I responded in kind and we all lost. Here are Hope Tools I discovered in this shadowy valley of despair.
Choose your mood
When life seems out of control remember that hope and joy are a choice. You can choose to have hope by focusing on the positive factors that surround you. There are daily miracles that you are ignoring. God is sending you encouraging messages through others. He wants to cause this experience to be a highlight in your life. He has good plans and is working them out in you. Even when you do not ‘get it’ right now there will be a time when you will. So trust Him in the process. Declare your intention to choose hope and then move forward with a positive take on the situation as you worship the Lord.
Hope Tools
Eliminate complaints
Hope and complaints cannot coexist in your mind. When you begin to complain you give the situation control over your life. You are speaking as someone who is helpless and defeated. You are trying to find others to agree with you so you can feel better. I want you to know — it doesn’t work. Instead, speak words of hope and gratitude. It’s okay to acknowledge the things that are driving you crazy and share them briefly with one person. You are not going around with a plastered smile when your heart is breaking. You are saying, “This is a hard place where I feel like I’m stuck. I own my choices and my feelings today and I choose to trust that God is working something deep in my heart. I choose joy, laughter, hope, and a great future.
Prayer
Thank You, Lord, that these difficult circumstances that I am facing could destroy me but You came to give me joy and abundance. I choose to trust You in the middle of the mess. I choose to have a confident expectation that You are working deep within my heart to develop the fruit of the Holy Spirit in my life. I press in to Your presence and ask You for eyes to see the situation with the focus that I will have in the future as I look back on this time. I forgive all those who are taking advantage of me and I will not allow their indifference to steal my joy. They do not own the joy in my life. You and I do. I choose today to speak blessings rather than complaints. I know that my words are important in setting the mood around me so I choose to speak of what You are doing rather than what others are not doing. In it all, I promise to give You the glory and the praise. In Jesus’ name. Amen
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, sign up to receive Karen’s emails.
You may order Karen’s latest book, The Power of Hope in Mourning here.
