Finding Comfort

As a mother soothes her child, so I will comfort you. Isaiah 66:13 Voice

Once my husband needed full-time care, I served as his primary caregiver. At one point, I was able to continue with my training business which required me to be out of state. My daughter tells me that the first night that she came to the house to get her dad ready for bed she was shocked at how much he had gone down. My husband was very private and never complained. I guess I had just taken the decline as a matter of course and adjusted to the “new normal.” She sat in her car and just bawled. Caregivers need comfort.

It’s natural to want to shield others from pain – especially your children. One of the hardest things for my husband was to let our children take care of him. In the final months before he moved to Heaven, he needed help with almost everything especially with taking care of getting him to the bathroom and cleaning up “accidents.” In the journey with illness, it’s important to be vulnerable and let others help with the hard and messy parts. Caregivers need help.

Over the next few months, we worked out a system where our children were able to support me in my caregiving responsibilities. Bill developed a bed sore which allowed him to have a home health nurse visit several times a week until that was cleared up. A friend offered to come on Sundays so I could go enjoy a worship service without distraction.

Hope Tools

Find balance

Make a commitment to do something for yourself every day. It doesn’t have to be big. It may just be that you ask someone to come and stay with your loved one while you go for a short drive to get a cup of coffee. You are still an individual person who has a tough job. Don’t lose who you are in the long journey.

Accept help

Stop being so strong and heroic. We talked earlier about losing your caregiver super-cape. When others say what can I do to help, take them up on their offers. Stop being afraid to bother others or to put them out. They will be thrilled to help out and it will give them special time with with their loved one. One of the most comforting things you can receive is a warm hug. Don’t hesitate to ask for them.

Prayer

Lord, thank You for the promise to care for us as a mother with her child. What a wonderful picture when our hearts are broken and the bottom seems to have dropped out of our world. Open our eyes to see the many ways that You are providing this comfort and joy. We do not have to isolate ourselves or make it through hard times alone. You are always close to us as we cry and You send others to comfort us as well. Thank You for all that You provide. We will receive it as straight from Your heart to ours. In Jesus’ name. Amen.