We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. Romans 5:3 MSG
A few weeks after bringing my first husband, Bill, home from the hospital after 8 days in the Intensive Care Unit, I got a call from a close friend. She was crying and asking for forgiveness. I had no idea what she was talking about. I had barely noticed that somewhere in the middle of the 14-day hospital stay she had stopped calling to see how he was doing. I had been so busy it never occurred to me that it was more than simply consideration for all that I had going on.
The story later came to light. There was another person close to my husband who had informed her to stop listening to me because I was not giving the true report of what was going on. In her own words, “Karen is just in la-la land with all her faith and hope crap. If you want to know what’s really going on, call me.” Wow!
It is hard to hang on to hope when facing a critical diagnosis or the never-ending hamster wheel of caring for a loved one. This is especially true during a stay in the hospital. Everyone wants to know the details and you grow weary of repeating yourself. Still, in speaking the truth in love and declaring the goodness of the Lord in the midst of the hard times, you inject hope into the conversation.
Hope is realistic. You admit there are problems yet always look for the plus side. Hope is not unabashed denial that there is a problem. Instead, it is educating yourself enough to understand the terms the medical professionals are using and trusting God in the midst of it all. Your confidence is in the way that God will work out the details even when you get bad news. You will survive and even thrive in the midst of it all.
God gave us the gift of another two and half years with my husband before he moved to Heaven. We treasure the honor he taught us and the way we were able to honor him. We never lost hope of healing. In fact, we prayed for complete healing every day.
You can land in a wide open space. Hope says that no matter what happens you will land on your feet. You will continue to experience God’s grace and glory in the midst of the darkest times. You get to choose your posture (more on that later). You can choose to shout praises. Now that’s contagious hope.
Active Self Nurture
Find places that bring you peace
There is a park close to where we lived. I went there and walked every morning before getting my husband up for the day. That was my green space. It was an open area where I could release the pent up pressure and anxiety I might be feeling. There was also something so wonderful about the view of the sunrise reflected on the river that flows through it.
Use alternate methods of communication
If someone you love is in critical condition, assign others to help you communicate his/her condition. Also, there have been so many advances in ways to let people know about the medical condition of a loved one. Care Bridge is a wonderful tool to use that takes the pressure off of you to let everyone know what is happening. You might want to consider a closed Facebook so that you only have to post the information once.
Make a praise list
Praise worthy blessings need to be acknowledged. For us, after an extensive hospital stay it might be that we were home. Other times it was the very gift of life and the love we shared. Make your list and keep it updated. Speaking the praise out loud intensifies its benefits. Get fanatical and shout the praise. You will be amazed at the release it will bring in the atmosphere.
Prayer
Lord, you fill our hearts with hope in the darkest nights of our soul. I ask You to fill the precious caregivers reading this now to feel an infusion of hope that they can pass on to the others in the situation. Things may look bad now, yet I am grateful for so many blessings. I shout praises to You for ________________. You always have me land on my feet. You give me grace for every situation and we see miracles of Your glory at every turn. I know we will continue to sense your presence and thank You for every provision.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
For the rest of the alphabet in the ABCs of Self Nurture for Caregivers please click here.
Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride will be released in September, 2018.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through.
