What happened as you looked at this idyllic photo of a secluded cabin in the mountains? Did your heart say – now that is what I wish my life were like right now? You are not alone.

This is the my fifth Christmas without my first husband, Bill. I remarried a widower in June of this year. It is his second Christmas without his first wife. There could be a lot of “if-only’s.”

The temptation is to go to one extreme or the other. One would be to shut off all the pain and every emotion due to the loss of that loved one and thus, diminish the present joy. The other is to be so consumed with sadness and regret that you don’t allow yourself to enjoy life again.

If you are struggling with painful loss due to the death of someone you love deeply, I encourage you to do what we do with it. We have learned to “enjoy missing them.” Let me explain. It means that we let the memories roll with happy ones that pop up. We speak fondly of those memories and appreciate the legacy they left us. We distill the best of the experiences yet continue to the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living.

Something wonderful happens at that point. There may be tears or there may be laughter. Regardless, we feel richer and more filled with hope. Why don’t you try it?

STOP