Words kill, words give life; they’re either poison or fruit – you choose. Proverbs 18:21 MSG
I used to hate Mondays. I guess I was like most people I worked with, except that I complained about it a lot. It probably had a lot to do with the fact that I hated my job, my husband was ill, our oldest daughter was going crazy, I had been diagnosed with lupus AND my mother-in-love was living with us because she could no longer live on her own. I know what it’s like to to have a lot going on at the same time. After lunch with me, people would feel better, not because I was uplifting, but rather because they would realize their life wasn’t so bad after all. I was caught in a negative downward spiral of complaints and negativity that was making matters worse. My words were killing me – literally!
Have you noticed that, instead of feeling better after a bitter complaint, you actually feel worse? This scripture confirms the reason for that. You get to choose your words. You get to choose your attitude. Unfortunately, at the time I was choosing poison over fruit. My wake-up call came one Friday afternoon as I sat in the parking lot outside the doctor’s office. I had almost all the symptoms for lupus!
Now that got my attention. Something had to change. I looked at all the different scenarios being played out in my life and realized that I really didn’t control anything but my response to the decisions of others. The one exception was how I was going to approach this new challenge. Here was an opportunity to become the most positive person that I knew.
“Lord, I need help right now! I want to become the most positive person in any room that I walk into.”
The weekend is a blur in my memory, but I do remember that first Monday after I made the decision to do an about-face away from negativity. The sound that usually escaped my mouth first thing in the morning was a deep sigh and then groans as my joints ached when I first moved. I shuffled into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. I attempted to smile. It was pretty weak. I then said words that, at the time, felt like a big fat lie: “I LOVE Mondays!” As I drove to work, I slipped a few times as I thought about how much I hated my current position but managed to pray instead.
It was a difficult change because I had become so entrenched in negativity and complaints. I had good reasons to bemoan my lot in life, didn’t I? I seemed addicted to the poison. Others at work noticed the change. I gradually felt more energy. I started eating better and lost some weight as a result. I began taking the stairs instead of the elevator and that helped elevate my mood as well. I took breaks more consistently and walked outside. I got acquainted with the smokers who stood outside complaining about work. I no longer joined them. (BTW, I never smoked even when I was negative – LOL!)
About six months went by before I thought about going back to the doctor. I told her that I felt great. She looked puzzled as she read over my chart and asked me about each symptom. “Wow! There must have been a misdiagnosis.”
I believe that as I became “The Hope Lady” the symptoms of lupus disappeared. I was healed.
What You Can Do Differently
Embrace the power of your words
Your words set the stage for your life. They establish the atmosphere and openness of those around you. There are many verses in the Bible that express how powerful your words are. The one used at the top of this post is one of the most powerful especially in the MESSAGE paraphrase. How exciting that you get to choose life-giving words rather than poisoning the atmosphere! Which ones are you using?
Assignment: Identify the poison words that you are using and write them down. Instead of trying to stop yourself from saying them, replace them with life-giving words.
Flip your negative expressions
Eliminate the word “hate” from your vocabulary. Other expressions to avoid are those that include the word “death” as in, “I died laughing” or “I thought I would die.” This is harder than you think because you have adopted these sayings and may not realize you are saying them.
Assignment: Make a list of the negative expressions you are using and replace them with positive affirmations. What do you appreciate about your daily commute? What are positive expressions for the difficulties of your life?
Modify your self-talk
As I started the journey of examining my words, I became more aware of what I mumbled under my breath. Things like, “That was dumb” or “How stupid can you be” were frequent. Be your own best friend and say kind things to yourself. You don’t need anger for motivation.
Assignment: Take note of your negative self-talk and replace the phrases with positive ones. Example: “That was dumb” can become “I am not aware of how to do that yet and will find someone to show me.” One of my favorite expressions when doing something for the first time is, “If others can do it then so can I.” Where’s the YouTube on this? Become the expert by doing what others shy away from and find hard to do. Another favorite is, “You’ve got this!”
Personalize scriptures
Our minds are transformed through the Word. When you feel like you can’t do something, remember to say, “I can do all things through Christ who gives me the strength that I need” (Philippians 4:13). Don’t say it like a robot with no feeling. Instead, put everything you have into it and emphasize different words. This verse is the reality of your life.
You don’t even have to be strong to do this. God is working in your life and has a good plan. He is able to strengthen and heal you. He is working in every detail so cooperate with His good plan and trust that you will come through the difficulties stronger than ever.
What’s your favorite scriptural affirmation? Mine is Romans 15:13 – I am The Hope Lady because the God of HOPE fills me with ALL joy and peace as I trust in Him. I overflow with HOPE by the power of the Holy Spirit.” #thishopestuffworks
Assignment: Take your favorite scripture and write it out as a Scriptural affirmation. Share it with someone close to you and ask them for theirs.
Prayer
Lord, I ask You to take my weakness and make me strong in You. I choose today to recognize who You say I am. I am Your daughter/son and I will treat myself that way. I choose to speak life over every difficult situation and person in my life today. I am grateful that I can love what You are doing in and through me.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
In the comments below, share at least one word you are replacing in your description of your life along with what you are saying now. We can learn from each other.
To see the entire alphabet, click here.
Over the years, Karen Sebastian-Wirth has lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride is now available on Amazon.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. As a caregiver and widow she took brave steps forward to fulfill God’s calling on her life. She has now remarried and enjoys her new hubby and spending time with their children and grandchildren. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, check out her Facebook page – The Power of Hope.
