We were filled with laughter, and we sang for joy. And the other nations said, “What amazing things the Lord has done for them.” Yes, the Lord has done amazing things for us! What joy!
Some of the hardest calls to make are the ones after a loved one has moved to Heaven. One such call was to my first husband’s primary care physician. He needed to be informed of Bill’s death and would probably be the one to sign the death certificate as he died at home. In the end, that’s what happened. As I listened to the elevator music on the other end of the phone, I tightened my throat to try to hold back the wave of tears that I knew would be coming as I spoke to the doctor’s nurse who had always been so gracious.
“Mrs. Sebastian, how can I help you,” I heard the kind voice on the other end of the phone.
“I needed to let you know that Bill moved to Heaven last night,” I said sadly.
“I want to make sure that I understand you,” she continued. “You mean to say that Mr. Sebastian died last night?”
“Yes, he did,” I replied.
“I am so sad to hear that,” she said kindly.
We continued talking about what we thought had happened the night before. We will never know for sure. As we were preparing to hang up she told me she wanted to share something she had not been able to share before.
“Mrs. Sebastian, I want you to know that everyone here at our office looked forward to your husband’s doctor’s visit.”
“Well, we certainly enjoyed coming to see you and doctor as well.”
“You too were so obviously in love and seemed to enjoy laughing despite the inconveniences and problems with his health,” she acknowledged.
This one statement brought a flood of memories of those visits that became so difficult in the end as I attempted to maneuver the wheel chair provided by the clinic through the double doors. Bill’s statement that “I beat him up every morning,” when the nurse asked if he was being abused. (After all, I am the lark of the family and always got up very early.) The way he would put on special music when the home health nurse came so they could ‘dance’. The laughter that we shared as a family when we got together.
It wasn’t always this way during my caregiving days. My first experience with my mother-in-love was not filled with laughter because I was angry most of the time. What a difference a change in perspective can make! I encourage you to laugh more.
Learn to laugh at yourself and you will always find joy.
Active Self Nurture
Choose to laugh.
Looking back on this dark season of my life [with my mother-in-love] , I realize now that I had stopped laughing. I was so angry that I walked around with a heavy heart and a scowl on my face. I now know that I can always choose to find the humor in everything that happens to me as there are so many things that can bring joy. It becomes a very personal decision to create an atmosphere where it is okay to have fun even in the midst of the mess. Make a commitment to seek the humor in everything you do. Learn to laugh at yourself, especially if you land in the water. I know it’s hard sometimes, but a good laugh benefits you physically, emotionally, and spiritually.
Taken from The Power of Hope in Caregiving: Honor the Ride.
Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for giving us the gift of laughter. I thank You for allowing me to see the glimpses of humor in the mundane and everyday challenges that I face as I care for ______________. I lift my eyes from the problems and allow you to fill me with laughter. I choose to sing for joy as I look at all the blessings You have given us. I honor these difficult days as times to grow and will smile in the face of it all as I look to You – author and finisher of my faith Hebrews 12:2).
In Jesus’ name. Amen
For the rest of the alphabet in the ABCs of Self Nurture for Caregivers please click here.
Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride will be released in November, 2017.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love check out her Facebook page – The Power of Hope.
