Fix your thoughts on what is true and good and right. Think about things that are pure and lovely, and dwell on the fine, good things in others. Think about all you can praise God for and be glad about. Philippians 4:8 TLB
There was a point in my life when I was extremely negative. I felt like I had every right to be so. In fact, if you asked me about my life, I would let you know in no uncertain terms about the job I hated, the uncertainty of my husband’s health, our oldest daughter’s rebellion and my bitter mother-in-love who moved in with us. Some would say that I was a saint to do all that I did, yet inside I was seething. Life had not turned out like I had hoped it would. The stress of all of the above was overwhelming and I was diagnosed with lupus. Something had to change. I realized that it was not helping me to focus on what others were doing (or not doing). I had no control over the attitude of others. Sure, I could try to influence and manipulate them. It just didn’t work.
I DID have complete control over my own attitude.
There are many who advocate separating yourself from all the situations and people in your life that cause distress. The problem with that approach is that you can end up alone and unfulfilled. Let me propose the truth that it is not the people and situations in your life that create the problem but, rather the way that you react to them. What I needed was a true hope perspective that focused on the great plan that God had for my life. There were times when it felt like He had forgotten my address and yet, He was always there.
Choose to look through a lens of hope that takes the opposite approach to the difficulties of life and embraces the challenges in your life. Your goal is not to live a life of ease but rather to grow and develop in the areas to which God has called you. You can filter every negative experience through a lens of praise and gratitude.
Active Self Nurture
Hang out with positive people
Negativity multiplies as you get around other negative people who reinforce your belief system and martyrdom. You may have a lot in common with them, yet they really are not good for you. Seek out those who encourage and uplift you. Take the initiative to invite them to coffee or lunch.
Look for the good in others
There may be negative people that you have to be around because they are part of your family. You can choose to look for the good in them. Everyone has good qualities. These are often hidden under layers of hurt and protection. Honor what they bring to the equation.
Praise God for difficult situations
This one can seem so fake at times. This is not a perfunctory, robotic, monotone – “praise the Lord.” (Come on – you know you’ve done it.) This is trusting the Lord to work in the details of all the challenges. You are passing some finals so you can go to tougher situations. Your life is an open book so that others can see God’s grace at work in your life.
Make a glad list
What brings you joy right now? What provides a spark of excitement? What was the best part of your day? Focus in on these things. Plan to do more of the above.
Prayer
I am so thankful, Lord, that I have a choice today to focus my thought life on truth rather than lies. You provide me with a true perspective on all that is swirling around me as I care for the needs of others. I choose to think about all that is going right in this situation. I choose to capitalize on the good qualities that I see in the difficult people in my life. Most of all, I choose to praise You and to find joy and laughter every day.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
For the rest of the alphabet in the ABCs of Self Nurture for Caregivers please click here.
Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride will be released in November, 2017.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love check out her Facebook page – The Power of Hope.
