I am the vine you are the branches. If you abide in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit. Without Me, you will accomplish nothing. John 15:5 Voice
During the time I was taking care of my mother-in-love I was also working full-time, had small children and wore many hats as a pastor’s wife. I was weary. Right about that time my husband was diagnosed with muscular dystrophy. I was on the verge of tears most of the time as I wondered how we were going to make it. I lost hope. I began to look to my circumstances and felt despair.
People tried to encourage me by telling me how strong I was. I would smile weakly and on the verge of tears reply, “Well, God says He won’t give us more than we can handle.” I started feeling sorry for myself. I wanted to scream, “This is just not fair.” Instead, put on a good face for others and was ‘strong’ because I felt others needed me to be that for them. Every time I was in the car by myself I wept bitterly and cried out to the Lord.
I was trying so hard to make it through that I had forgotten that I needed to abide – stay connected to the source of strength rather than muster up strength in myself. It seems so clear when you are not in that situation. Looking back on that season of my life, I realize now that I was mad at God. The good news I know now is that He prefers that we be open with Him. Why in the world do we think we can hide what’s in our heart anyway?
Hope Tools
Acknowledge your need
Your Heavenly Father knows what you need even before you ask but wants you to ask Him for help. Something happens in our hearts when we acknowledge that all our efforts aren’t working. Stop trying so hard to be strong. Be weak and abide. Set up camp in His presence. Soak in worship music and weep as much as you need to in order to find strength.
Relax
There are just some things you can’t fix. You can’t please everyone. So take a deep breath and release the need to make sure everyone is okay. Be honest about what you are feeling and let others do the same. It takes a lot of energy to hide your feelings. Here’s a note of caution. If you find that everyone is telling you how amazing you are in the difficult situation you face you may be trying too hard to do it all yourself. Instead, lean in to the presence of the Lord and gain strength from Him.
Return to the source
To bear fruit the vine simply needs to stay connected. The grapes don’t strain and say, “I’ve got to work hard to grow. Remember the source of your strength. It is so tempting to become the rescuer and the super hero. That can be exhausting! Return to the source of strength – Jesus – the true vine.
Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for reminding me that I can’t make it through this caregiving season without staying connected to You as my source. Forgive me for trying so hard to make everything work out. I find comfort in knowing that it is not up to me but rather Your job to get us through this. So I resign from fixing it all and reconnect to You as my source. Give me the strength that I need and continue to work in our hearts. I can’t make it without You. You have promised to be with me during every step of this journey. In Jesus’ name. Amen.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world.
You may order Karen’s latest book, The Power of Hope in Mourning here.
