If one person suffers, all suffer together; if one person is honored, all rejoice together. 1 Corinthians 12:26 ESV
It was never my intention to isolate myself. It basically happened because I was so consumed with caring for my husband that it was easier to stay home than to try to find someone to watch him. It didn’t have anything to do with the fact that others were unwilling to help. In fact, they offered and I turned them down. (I talked about it in the Receive Help Graciously blog.)
The other challenge was that when my husband retired from the pastorate, the kids and I started going to a large church. For some reason, it was hard to connect because I was perceived as being single because my husband was not able to go with me.
Isolation can become a reality as you get involved in the details of caring for your loved one(s). You stop meeting with the friends you met with before because you are no longer a couple. Eventually, people stop asking you to meet them for coffee – not because they no longer want to be your friend, but simply because you have turned them down so many times. It should not be this way, but in the busy nature of our lives we let time pass without making the special effort to stay connected. It’s time to take action so that you remove the isolation from your life.
Active Self Nurture
Reconnect with friends
Who are your forever friends? Make a list of those who you would love to speak with or sit down with your favorite cuppa coffee/tea. Pick up the phone or send a message over social media to these friends. They will be delighted to see you and you will be refreshed after your time with them.
Make a list of people with whom you would be comfortable leaving your loved one (if you are at that stage). Let them come over to test it out and to show them what they need to do while you are away. This is especially important if your loved one has advanced dementia or Alzheimer’s.
Recommit to time for yourself
It is not selfish to want to honor your personal needs for refreshing and rest. Work toward shared responsibilities and time when you can collect your thoughts and sense the presence of the Lord. It is vital that your well be full before you give out to others.
Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for the times of refreshing that you have for me right now in this caregiving journey. I ask you give me peace as I leave __________ for times to reconnect with friends. Thank You for those who are coming alongside to suffer as we suffer and rejoice as we honor those we love.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
For the rest of the alphabet in the ABCs of Self Nurture for Caregivers please click here.
Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride will be released in November, 2017.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, sign up to receive Karen’s emails.
