Jesus said, Let’s go to the a quiet place and rest awhile. Mark 6:31 NLT
I would like to share with you a quote from the upcoming book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride because it summarizes well how much you need to take consistent breaks:
My heart was heavy. When I got up in the middle of the night to use the restroom I happened to glance in the mirror. The bloodshot eyes that stared back at me were filled with sadness and despair. I felt so helpless as I saw my precious husband struggling with the effects of Muscular Dystrophy. His diaphragm had stopped working so a ventilator was doing the breathing for him. He could no longer swallow so I had learned to feed him through a tube in his stomach. He used a suction apparatus to suction out his saliva. On a bad day, it seemed like that was all that he did.
How do you keep going when it seems like all you do is take care of the needs of others? How do you find the strength to continue cleaning up messes and dumping urine and saliva? How do you navigate the maze of doctor appointments and medical bills? The person you are caring for no longer can handle the pressure, so you keep it to yourself and carry that burden as well. At some point, there is a shift in the way you relate to him or her.
I was exhausted. I was discouraged. I didn’t know what the future held for us and it scared me. I had lost hope.
There is no exhaustion quite like it. I thought I was tired when my kids were babies. This was different. This was a deep, depleted feeling that overcame my entire body. It was partly because of lack of sleep but I’ve been sleep-deprived before. I was wearing many others hats as a wife, mother, minister, and employee. Besides, I never planned on taking this job as a caregiver—it just happened gradually, over time, as I kept taking the path of least resistance. I took on more and more, and no one seemed to notice.
I call it “caregiver fog.” Simple tasks seemed overwhelming and I would cry for no reason. The next minute I would lash out in unreasonable anger only to burst into tears again because I felt frustrated and stuck. It was like I was on a never-ending ride down an unpredictable river with white-water rapids. Does this describe you right now? You are not alone in feeling this way.
Caregiving burnout is very real because you can easily neglect yourself while caring for others. It is imperative that you secure your life vest and wear it all the time.
Active Self Nurture
Take care of yourself
Why is this so hard to do? It starts with a good premise of taking care of the crisis and being the one who is there when needed. Unfortunately, this can become a pattern that is perpetuated where that becomes what brings you value. You easily take on the role of a martyr and neglect your own health. (See this article:
Monitor Your Health)
Hope Tip: Do something little for yourself EVERY day.
Learn to power nap
Mom say it best don’t they? She would say every afternoon, “I have a 101 things to do now and one of them is the nap. See you in half an hour.” You can learn to relax enough so that you will be able to take a 20 minute nap every day. This is a discipline that is practiced by some of the most effective people on the planet. It does not mean you are lazy. On the contrary, this short amount of sleep, when done properly can revive creativity and allow you to function at top capacity. The best time to power nap is either mid afternoon after lunch or just before dawn. During these times you experience a natural dip in alertness due to your circadian rhythm, making it the most ideal time to power nap. Set your alarm for 20 minutes; relax fully; change your focus to inner peace; get up immediately when your alarm goes off. For more on this vital topic click
here.
Hope Tip: Set aside 20 minutes every day for a power nap whether you sleep or not.
Make time for prayer and meditation
Jesus told his disciples after a busy day of dealing with demanding people that they needed to get away and rest awhile. Follow His example on this. Jesus was actually taking a power nap when they were in the middle of a big storm. Make your car a prayer closet as you drive today. Find rest in the Lord.
Hope Tip: Find the best time for you to quiet your heart and enjoy the presence of the Lord.
Prayer
Thank You, Lord, for being the perfect example. Today I want to thank You that I can rest in you and trust You with every detail of __________’s care. I ask for wisdom and the ability to relax enough to nap regardless of the storms raging all around me. You can speak peace to my heart and I receive it right now as I sit here at ___________.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
For the rest of the alphabet in the ABCs of Self Nurture for Caregivers please click
here.
Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride will be released in September, 2018.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love check out her Facebook page – The Power of Hope.
