Zealous Hope – Hope Wins – Day 31

What is the dream for your life? What are the expectations of how things will turn out?

One of the regrets in my life is that my husband and I never got to travel and fulfill the “some day” dreams.

One of the challenges of caregiving is to know when to call in the reinforcements so you can enjoy a vacation or time for yourself. Sometimes it’s just easier to do it yourself. That was what we did during the years we cared for my mother-in-love. She moved in with us after my father-in-love died. For many of those years she lived with us she was self-sufficient. The last few, however, she needed someone to take care of her. My husband and I took separate vacations and foolishly missed opportunities to ask for help. I deeply regret this now.

Proverbs was written by King Solomon probably at the height of his 40-year reign over Israel. Under his leadership, the country prospered more than any other time. He has been called the wisest man who ever lived although that did not translate into how he lived his life.

The Hebrew word used for hope here is ‘tokeleth’ and implies waiting with confidence and the expectation of a good result. God always has a good plan, yet when the bottom drops out of your world it can be hard to wait in this way. I married my husband, Bill, for life. As we cared for my mother-in-law we postponed vacations together and trips because some day we would be able to take those together. Several years before my mother-in-law died, the muscular dystrophy that Bill had coped with his whole life started affecting his ability to walk and drive. The someday never came for us. What are you postponing?

Our life turned out far different than I had expected. After my mother-in-love moved to Heaven, we rarely traveled as Bill’s the list of physical challenges continued to grow. I cared for him for 2.5 years and during that time I began to realize that we would never get to fulfill the dreams of travel together. We had spoken of getting an RV and traveling to all the national parks in the United States. Bill’s version of this was to travel the country on a motor cycle and visit the friends that we know in almost every state of the union. I also wanted to go a cruise together. In the weeks after Bill’s death from breathing complications I was heartsick. As the reality of my husband’s death sank in, I started feeling angry. I felt cheated. We never got our turn.  Be dedicated to identifying the depth of your disappointment so you can let the Lord carry the sorrow for you. What makes you angry or sick at heart?

It has now been four years since Bill took his last breath of earth’s air through a machine. His dream of finishing strong was fulfilled. Now I am left with the broken pieces of my dreams. I have mourned well. (You can find out more on that process in my book,The Power of Hope in Mourning: Ride the Waves to Comfort.) I have gradually started dreaming my own dreams. I  developed my list of things that I want to do during my lifetime. There are things that I am uniquely qualified to do that no one else can such as caring for my grandchildren. I also want to share hope with everyone I meet. I have a dream of teaching families to hope when their kids take a detour. I have a dream of sharing hope with those who face the death of a loved one. I have a dream to share hope with those who are in the midst of the caregiving journey. Be passionate to follow your dreams. What dreams are ahead for your life?

I took a leap of faith in July and spent three weeks in Honduras. I had so many opportunities and found so much joy in the process. I met new people who were outside of my circle of influence that are going to open other doors. I had several relationships that dropped away. They were replaced with new ones that continue to be life-giving. It is about letting life flow with a source of freshness and newness. It is about learning that after the winter of grief there comes a new spring season when love and life are revived. It is about living in a community where you are challenged to keep growing, living and loving. Be zealous to pursue the newness you are given. What new season are you preparing to enter?

Thank You, Lord, for Your presence as I face the postponement of what  long to accomplish. Thank You for being so close to me when I grieve the death of my vision for my life. I love Your presence and comfort at that point and rejoice in the truth that my dreams didn’t die they simply changed. As I prepare to enter a new season, I rely on Your guidance. I make the commitment to zealously share hope with those who are in that waiting room where they feel there is no future. Thank You for using my life to remind them that the future will be good because You always have a good plan. In Jesus’ name. Amen.