03-C-Celebrate Everything-ABCs of How to Take Care of Yourself

Celebrate with great joy. Nehemiah 8:12 NIV

During the last year and half of my first husband’s life, I had a morning routine. I would tiptoe into his bedroom to check on him.

I stood willing him to move a finger or something to show me that he was still with us. The rhythmic sound of the ventilator that was doing the breathing for him due to the paralysis of his diaphragm from muscular dystrophy rang in my ears.

Just as I would feel fear grip my heart, his right pinkie would move slightly. I would sigh in relief and proceed to wake him up.

One of the greatest joys that still lasts from the days when I cared for him, was the way we celebrated life as a family. I determined that we would live with no regrets. That took many forms. The kids and grandkids gathered often at our home to celebrate.

Years before, we had started taking pictures sitting on the hearth of the fireplace in the den. We celebrated simply but consistently. We gathered at our home for every holiday and every birthday. Bill was an avid collector of all things western so we had a western night.

To inspire you, here is an example of the Western themed night:

When the body fails, you learn to celebrate all the small victories such as being able to get up for the day and making it to your lift chair in the den. It distills what really matters and you find joy where you can find it.

What can you do differently?

It may seem like your life is devoid of events to celebrate so expand your horizons and celebrate life itself. Watching Bill’s strength as his body failed prompted a common set of questions that allows you to find a different perspective:

Can you breathe on your own?
Were you able to swallow your food as you ate today?
Can you walk and jump out of bed?

Then it’s a great day! Celebrate EVERYTHING!!!!

Ways to take care of yourself

Live with no regrets

Take advantage of every opportunity to celebrate. Take the trips that you’ve put off taking. Say the words that need to be said. As you spend so much of your time taking care of others do not lose the opportunities that you have. On the whole, I do not have a lot of regrets other than not taking vacations with my husband as we cared for his mother. We always thought that we would have ‘our time.’ It never came.

Assignment

Schedule a few hours where you can do something you like to do. It may be to go get a cup of coffee by yourself or a walk in the park.

Learn how to celebrate

What went well this week? Celebrate every victory by acknowledging it. It really doesn’t matter how small the win may seem to someone else, you can still celebrate it. Set up your celebration calendar. Look up the crazy national days and celebrate them as well. For example: October 1st is National Homemade Cookies Day. Celebrate by making your favorite homemade cookie. Well, you get the idea.

Assignment

Start small with one celebration a month. What are you going to celebrate?

Prepare favorite foods

Even when Bill could no longer eat because he lost his ability to swallow we would talk about what his ‘meal’ was that day. It was usually meatloaf and mashed ‘taters.’ To this day, we still celebrate birthdays with the celebrant’s favorite food and dessert. We celebrate Bill’s earthy birthday with tacos because that was the last meal that he ate before having the feeding tube. What is your favorite food?

Assignment

Make a list of favorite foods and share recipes. What’s the most decadent? What’s the healthiest?

Prayer

Thank You, Lord, that I can choose to celebrate today (Nehemiah 8:12 Voice). Thank You for the race that I get to run in caring for those I love. It can seem hard and that I will never reach the end of the race. I thank You for calling me and equipping me to celebrate today the victory that I look forwards to obtaining. I thank You for the joy that is before us while we run the race and the Heavenly prize that awaits us. (Philippians 3:14 NIV)

In Jesus’ name. Amen.

In the comments below, share your funniest / hardest / most creative celebration. We can learn from each other.

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Karen Sebastian-Wirth has, over the years, lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride is now available. In honor of November – National Family Caregivers Month you may purchase The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride for 99 cents (Kindle Version).