We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God’s grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise. Romans 5:3 MSG
A few weeks after bringing my first husband, Bill, home from the hospital after 8 days in the Intensive Care Unit, I got a call from a close friend. She was crying and asking for forgiveness. I had no idea what she was talking about. I had barely noticed that somewhere in the middle of the 14-day hospital stay she had stopped calling to see how he was doing. I had been so busy it never occurred to me that it was more than simply consideration for all that I had going on.
The story later came to light. There was another person close to my husband who had informed her to stop listening to me because I was not giving the true report of what was going on. In her own words, “Karen is just in la-la land with all her faith and hope crap. If you want to know what’s really going on, call me.” Wow!
It is hard to hang on to hope when facing a critical diagnosis or the never-ending hamster wheel of caring for a loved one. This is especially true during a stay in the hospital. Everyone wants to know the details and you grow weary of repeating yourself. Still, in speaking the truth in love and declaring the goodness of the Lord in the midst of the hard times, you inject hope into the conversation.
Hope is realistic. You admit there are problems yet always look for the plus side. Hope is not unabashed denial that there is a problem. Instead, it is educating yourself enough to understand the terms the medical professionals are using and trusting God in the midst of it all. Your confidence is in the way that God will work out the details even when you get bad news. You will survive and even thrive in the midst of it all.
God gave us the gift of another two and half years with Bill before he moved to Heaven. We treasure the honor he taught us and the way we were able to honor him. We never lost hope of healing. In fact, we prayed for complete healing every day. His healing came when he woke up in Heaven. We never lost hope, peace or faith in the process.
You can land in a wide open space. Hope says that no matter what happens you will land on your feet. You will continue to experience God’s grace and glory in the midst of the darkest times. You get to choose your posture (more on that later). You can choose to shout praises. Now that’s contagious hope.
What You Can Do Differently
Find places that bring you peace
There is a park close to where we lived. I went there and walked every morning before getting my husband up for the day. That was my green space. It was an open area where I could release the pent up pressure and anxiety I might be feeling. There was also something so wonderful about the view of the sunrise reflected on the river that flows through it.
Assignment: Make a list of places where you feel peace. It may be the chapel in the hospital, your car or a friend’s house. Just make sure you find peace and seek it out intentionally.
Use alternate methods of communication
If someone you love is in critical condition, assign others to help you communicate his/her condition. Also, there have been so many advances in ways to let people know about the medical condition of a loved one. Care Bridge is a wonderful tool to use that takes the pressure off of you to let everyone know what is happening. You might want to consider a closed Facebook so that you only have to post the information once. It is such a good way to get the prayer needs out as well.
Assignment: Recruit someone you trust to be the point of contact for the entire family should an emergency arise. That will free you up to take care of the one in crisis and yourself as well.
Make a praise list
Praise-worthy blessings need to be acknowledged. For us, after an extensive hospital stay it might be that we were home. Other times it was the very gift of life and the love we shared. Make your list and keep it updated. Speaking the praise out loud intensifies its benefits. Get fanatical and shout the praise. You will be amazed at the release it will bring in the atmosphere.
Assignment: In the comments below list 3 praises. Get a cheap journal (or notebook) and start writing down the special answers to prayer and people God brings into your life.
Prayer
Lord, you fill our hearts with hope in the darkest nights of our soul. I ask You to fill the precious caregivers reading this now with an infusion of hope that they can pass on to the others in similar situations. Things may look bad now, yet I am grateful for so many blessings. I shout praises to You for ________________. You always have me land on my feet. You give me grace for every situation and we see miracles of Your glory at every turn. I know we will continue to sense Your presence and thank You for every provision.
In Jesus’ name. Amen.
In the comments below, share the story of a time when you were able to praise God even in difficult times. We can learn from each other.
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Over the years, Karen Sebastian-Wirth has lovingly cared for her mother-in-love, mother, father and husband. She certainly has learned the lessons of hope in what can become a treacherous ride over some rough waters. You will enjoy her candid approach to self nurture and the practical ways to take care of yourself. Her new book The Power of Hope for Caregivers: Honor the Ride is now available on Amazon.
Author, speaker, corporate trainer, ordained minister and Hope Catalyst, Karen Sebastian enjoys sharing her rich life experiences with others – engaging them in adventurous discoveries of the beauty of hope in a dark, cloudy world. Her books will inspire you to embrace hope no matter what you are going through. As a caregiver and widow she took brave steps forward to fulfill God’s calling on her life. She has now remarried and enjoys her new hubby and spending time with their children and grandchildren. To increase hope and improve relationships with yourself and those that you love, check out her Facebook page – The Power of Hope.
I am so thankful that God always has us land on our feet. He gives us grace for every situation and we see miracles of God’s glory at every turn. Thank you for this encouragement!
Jolene, thanks for stopping by. Yes, we do indeed get to land on our feet. That gives me hope for every situation – for sure.
Karen
I always say that I lived in a ‘happy-faced state of grace’ during Pedro’s illness. And that’s a good thing ;). CaringBridge is wonderful (but it started after Pedro’s illness). Auto replies for emails and text messages work, too (directing people who are interested to the CaringBridge site).
Yes, there is an extra measure of grace for us during serious illness. I think I felt the same, especially looking back on it with all that we both did and still managed to keep our heads straight. I love the idea of auto-replies too.
Loved the photos of you with you daughter. The pictures are beautiful!!!!
Karen
As our friend Susan says, hope changes everything.
Truer words were never spoken. Love my HOPE-filled friends. Such a blessing to us all.
Karen
We always had hope when my dad was in the hospital but we also knew that God might take him home, which He did. That did not diminish our trust in God or our ability to enjoy the company of other family members we did not see very often. There is always hope where God is concerned. The healing may not come this side of heaven, but hope and peace are ours to take. Blessings to you, dear Karen!
Oh sweet friend,
That is such a bittersweet type of healing. The day I was headed home after getting the call that Bill had moved to Heaven during the night, I saw him in my mind’s eye running around Heaven praising God with a loud voice. We had not hear his voice for 2 years because he was on a ventilator. Truly you can experience hope and peace at that point. So thrilled you and your family were able to feel that. Still you chose God’s perspective in it all and I honor you for that.
Love you, Gayl. You are a blessing to me.
Karen
Always ministering HOPE.
Thanks sweet Hope Friend. Love you to Pluto and back!!!!